Me & Nick and a thank you

[Beastbaby]

Hello to my wammo family:
I wanted to tell you about my life with nick:
The last 5 months have been a living hell for me nick want from being my strong healthy protector to being a very ill shadow of himself, I met nick 10 years ago in of all places a garage that one of our mutual friends Jimmy had rented to play around with cars in, the day we met he was sitting in jimmy’s garage with his two dogs kuma and fitz, Jim introduced us and I asked nick what his dogs names were and he jokingly replied “ I would tell you but I’d have to kill you “, I thought wow what an ass, albeit a good looking ass, the next time I saw him my car had broken down at my brothers house 13 miles from home and our friend jimmy had sent him to pick me and my kids up and bring us home at which point he met my brother Norman and my sister in law Jackie , he took a disliking to Jackie right away ( smart man no one really liked her lol) he brought us back to my house and left ,later that night I walked over to Jimmy’s house to hang with his wife Theresa and who should be there YUP Nick ( back then we were both single and drank a bit) my kids had went with their father for the weekend so I stayed and partied with Jim, Nick and Theresa we sat and sang songs and drank a bit and then I felt the need ( HIC!) To go home, so Nick drove me home and dropped me off. I was thinking that he was a real gentleman, both of us toasted and he didn’t try anything ,a few days later I met and started dating a man named Keith ,and Nick met a woman at a bar and to this day I can’t remember her name lol and they got to drinking at the bar and decided to go for a ride, well they got to messing around in his suburban and he hit a telephone pole and snapped it in half ,where should he end up but at my house lol, well I picked glass out of his head ,cleaned him up and put him to bed on my sofa, I learned the next day that he was losing his house so being the big hearted person that I am I moved him lock, stock and barrel into my house at this point we were still just friends and I was still dating Keith and he was still seeing the girl he met in the bar,3 days later he decided he wasn’t going out with her that night and he would be staying home, well my boyfriend called and as I was talking to him on the phone nick had a hissy fit , slamming doors and huffing around the house, and I asked him what the hell his problem was, he said nothing so I continued to talk with Keith on the phone and Nick kept ranting lol so I told Keith I would call him back because my roommate was having a fit over something and we needed to talk , I sat Nick down on the sofa and asked him what was wrong and he said ( LMAO I will never forget his answer ) he said I DON’T KNOW! Lol but he was looking at me funny, so just to see I said well if your sure I need to call KEITH back and as so as I mentioned his name Nick got mad again and then I knew what was wrong with him, so I picked up the phone and called Keith and told him my roommate wanted me to stay home and talk and I would call him later, Nicks mood changed as soon as he heard me say I was staying home, we talked late in to the night and I found out that he had not even been seeing that girl and he had just said he was ,and he gave me many reasons why I shouldn’t be dating Keith ,none of them were because of Nick lol, YEAH RIGHT! So I told Nick that I believed the reasoning behind him thinking I shouldn’t be with Keith was because he was jealous and he blushed that blush I came to love but not once did he admit I was right lol, well needless to say I broke up with Keith the next day which didn’t bother him to much as he was a rover lol, however Nick didn’t stop smiling for a week lol, but still he didn’t approach me, and for about a month we lived as roommates ,but Nick god rest him use to get these really bad cramps in his legs and I was the one that rubbed them out for him and suddenly I found myself sitting up all night with him just talking ( he was such a gentleman) the one day two months after he moved in with my I was tired of playing his games and I told him HE loved me and he said I don’t know I’m confused ,so I said you know what Nick it’s like this You love me and I love you so let’s just knock off the games and get with it lol and I grabbed him and gave him a kiss lmao he blushed and hugged me and said yup your right and we were together from that day on, I would love to say we had a fairytale life but no one does we had our ups and downs , we were married on July 13th of 2000 and in 2001 he needed neck surgery and after they did the pre-op blood work he was told he had hepatitis C the operation was postponed and so for a year I gave him pegylated interferon injected three times a week and Rebatrol treatments, well they said the hep C was gone but that it may cause cancer later, we forgot about the cancer and went on for 8 more years in that 8 years he had his neck surgery and took 8 months to recover form that then he had shoulder operated on in that same time frame I had to have to operations as well so we spent the first few years helping each other recover from operations and his hep C ,his cramps never got any better and we tried different medications for them and then his back started to hurt him about 3 years ago , he was told he had some bad disks in his lower back, thinking back I think maybe it was the tumor growing that was causing the pain but still he went on and didn’t really complain much about anything, we had a good life together not perfect , nor rich, but it was a good life and we were happy together, then in January of this year he slipped on some pea gravel at work and hurt himself, the doctor said he had pulled his groin and his back muscles, gave him some lortabs and sent him home, nick wasn’t much on narcotics so he didn’t really take to many of them and he returned to work wearing a back brace, a week later he was in so much pain I took him to the ER, they told him he had “ horrific arthritis “ gave him more narcotics , a set of crutches and sent him home, he tried that for about a week the coming out of the bathroom he fell and couldn’t get up because he was in so much pain ill call for an ambulance and too him back to the ER, once again they sent him home with pills, 3 days later he couldn’t move to stand, he was sleeping in a lazy boy chair and using a urinal and his urine was to dark , so me and Blanca loaded him in the car and took him back to the ER, this time they did Blood work on him and found his kidneys were failing and that his calcium was too high and admitted him to the hospital ,they got everything working right again and then hit us with a bombshell that he had liver cancer but that he should be ok with radiation and chemotherapy , so they started the radiation, after 15 rounds they sent him home and he went in for 5 more rounds from home everyday then he started the chemo, he went to our son’s wedding and started back to church, he had been home for a month and ½ when he had to go back because his calcium was too high again and Doctor fox told us that he had two weeks , nick didn’t hear it the first time because he was still out of it, his mind was going, he came around long enough to tell me he wanted to go home to die and I agreed to let him, that was the next to last coherent thing he said to me , we went home and he started to slip away from us ,he stopped eating the 3rd day we were home and on the 4th he stopped drinking liquids, he looked at me and said “ I love you mamma” and then his mind went and he didn’t know anyone, I held his hand as I called the VNA and told them he was very sick and they sent him a nurse, the nurse told me to call in his family and I did that was on the 26th of may at 8 am, his family gathered around him to tell him goodbye , then they went outside so I could be with him for a few minutes, and with my heart breaking more than I ever thought it could ,I told him how much I loved him and that I would miss him but that it was time to go home and that I would be there directly when god called for me. His family came and went to check on him for hours, we gave him 20 mg of liquid morphine every 15 minutes to keep him from being in pain as he slipped away from us, at 7 pm I called his family back into the house we gathered around his bed held hands and prayed over him till his last breath at 7:30 pm. That’s when my world turned upside down. He was gone, what was I going to do? How was I going to pay for the funeral? How would I make it through this? I prayed dear god help me! And he did! From all over the world he gathered help for me, it started with a friend taking a soap on a rope adding some fun stuff to it and selling it in game, which bring me to this , I told you parts of the story of me and nick so that you would know when I say thank you to all who bought the soap on a rope, you would know how much I really mean it, and I do, I love you all and thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you have done to help me and nick, I know that he loved the game and the people and he is watching over all of you from that big game room in the sky, I can’t say thank you enough to everyone, but I want you to know that I and thankful and grateful to you all , to my wammo family I LOVE YOU !

[Draconian]

touching, moving, and powerful.

*again removes my hat and places on my chest, wiping away a stray tear*

May he rest in peace.